Rest In Peace Dear MOFO!!

I decided to go home for Labor Day weekend. I expected to have a nice restful time with good food. I didn't expect for my goldfish to be floating at the bottom of the tank. Why do I care for this goldfish so much you ask? Well he was the longest living goldfish in the whole entire friggin' world. He simply would not die. You know how every kid gets goldfish as there first real pet or whatever, well I had three and decided to start a little 3 gallon tank when I was 9. Mofo and his buddies, but he wasn't called Mofo back then. Well goldfish die, just like Mofo's buddies and I got two more to replace them. Just the 56 cent goldfish from walmart. Well those died, but not Mofo. He lived through probably 20 different buddies, until I said forget this and decided that he would be the lone fish in the tank. It wasn't long before he outgrew that, so I got a 5 gallon tank. No, he won't outgrow this tank. Not at all. Well two years later, I had to buy a 10 gallon tank and he was beginning to get to big for that. He ate two big pinches a day and made a huge mess in the tank. I even had to buy him special pills to drop in the water when he began to get tail rot. Why did I do that? Well I wanted to see how long he would last, and it turns out it was just about 12 years or so. That has to be a record... When he began to outgrow his tanks I decided to call him Mofo (yes, Mother F*****), since he wouldn't die. There is no way he would have been able to be flushed down the toilet, he would have stopped it up. Try explaining that to the plumber.


Well here's to Mofo, the best goldfish in the world.....